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Hopefully you are here because you inhaled Part 1 and Part 2 in this series on learning to Respond vs. React...HOWEVER, you may have found yourself deep in reaction recently...Part 3 is here to help you navigate the moment after the moment—with courage, clarity, and zero shame spirals.
Does this sound familiar? You had the best intentions. You’ve been practicing the pause. You know the difference between reacting and responding. And then… boom. You snapped. The text got a little too spicy. The email had edge. You rolled your eyes in high-definition. So now what? This is the part no one likes to talk about—but where real growth lives. Not in never reacting again (spoiler: you will), but in what you do after you lose your cool. Here are some ideas to help you after you may have gone from response to react mode: 1. Interrupt the Spiral—Don’t Let Regret Run the Show First: Pause. Breathe. Don’t let your inner critic start narrating your downfall. Reacting doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’re human. Don’t pile on the shame. Shame keeps you stuck; curiosity sets you free. Instead of “Why did I do that? I always do this.”, try: “What was going on in me that made that reaction feel necessary?” “Was I overwhelmed? Unclear? Trying to protect something?” Treat yourself like someone worth understanding—not scolding. 2. Own It—With Just Enough Detail Now comes the repair. The key: be real, not dramatic. Own your part without over-explaining or undercutting your intention. Keep it clean and clear:
Bonus: This models accountability without self-erasure. It tells others they can be human too—and that safety doesn’t require perfection. 3. Re-Center Before You Re-Engage Don’t jump straight from reaction to repair without checking in with yourself first. Even after apologizing, your nervous system might still be buzzing. Re-centering helps you return from defense to grounded presence. Otherwise, you’re just reacting...politely. Try:
You don’t have to be perfect to continue—you just have to be present. 4. Let It Teach You (Without Turning It Into a Personality Flaw) Every reaction holds a clue: to your values, your boundaries, your wounds, or your unmet needs. Instead of turning your reaction into a self-critique, turn it into self-inquiry. Ask:
5. Repair > Regret We all react. The question is: will you repair? Owning your impact, reconnecting to your intention, and choosing again—that’s where trust is built. That’s where maturity lives. That’s the practice. You don’t have to be flawless. You just have to keep showing up aware. You reacted. So what. Now respond. Respond with clarity. With compassion. With curiosity. You’re not back at square one—you’re deep in the work. Reacting isn’t the end of the story. The power is in the next moment—the one where you choose to repair instead of retreat, reconnect instead of recoil. You are not your reaction. You are the one who noticed. The one who chose again. That? That’s resilience. That’s self-leadership. That’s growth. -Recovering Reactionist, Amy Magyar, ICF Mentor Coach You’ve probably felt it before—that sudden rush of heat, the sharp retort forming, the inner monologue that sounds more courtroom than conversation. That’s a reaction.
If you read Part 1 of this series, you already know: Reacting is a reflex. Responding is a choice. But here’s the secret Part 1 didn’t fully unpack: You can’t make that choice unless you notice what’s happening in the first place. That flicker of awareness--“Wait, I’m about to lose it…”—is your access point to power. It’s the half-second where you can either hit “send” or back slowly away from the keyboard. And that moment? It’s not luck. It’s a skill. Let’s talk about how to catch reacting before it catches you. First, Know Your Tells You can’t intercept the punchline if you don’t see the setup. Reactions don’t just appear out of nowhere—they have a warm-up act. A tightening jaw. The urge to “educate” someone mid-meeting. That familiar internal monologue that starts with “Oh hell no…” These are your signals. Your nervous system is basically throwing you a pre-show announcement: “Buckle up—drama incoming.” Start by learning what your personal reaction runway looks like. Some usual suspects:
Ask yourself:
Second, Create Micro-Moments of PauseThe goal isn’t eternal Zen. It’s 10 seconds of sanity. Once you notice the spark, you don’t need a meditation retreat. You need a beat. A sliver of space. A moment to say, “Wait—do I want to go full drama here, or maybe just...not?” Think of it like hitting the “save draft” button on your nervous system. Ways to create a micro-pause:
o “Pause. Then choose.” o “I can respond, not react.” o “What is the truth?” The moment you notice and don’t override it? Boom. Pattern interrupted. Third, Normalize the Catch (Even Mid-Meltdown)Mid-sentence is not too late. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to be a monk to course-correct. You can pause mid-sigh, mid-snap, or even mid-sarcastic monologue and still salvage the moment. Most of us think: “Well, I already reacted, guess this is who I am now.” Not true. You can pivot anywhere in the sequence. Even better? You can call it out with honesty and a little grace. Try saying:
This not only changes the emotional tone of the interaction—it builds trust. It shows the other person (and yourself) that you’re willing to choose presence over performance, and connection over control. Reacting doesn’t make you bad. It makes you human. Catching it? That’s the flex. That’s what turns autopilot into intentionality. Every time you notice—mid-eye-roll, mid-overexplaining, mid-email-draft—you reclaim your agency. And over time, the noticing gets faster, the pausing gets easier, and the responses get clearer. Noticing is the work. Choosing again is the practice. And that practice? That’s how you lead, with clarity, not chaos. Coming next: Part 3—what to do when you’ve already reacted and want to repair, re-center, or not spiral into self-blame. -Amy Magyar, PCC, ICF Mentor Coach (and Recovering Reactor!) If there’s one foundational shift I encourage my clients to make that literally changes their lives (and my own), it’s this:
Learn to respond instead of react. This single choice can redefine your leadership, your relationships, your inner peace—and your energy. I have learned to choose presence over impulse. And I save energy and a TON of wasted time pretending I can read minds. Because what I am reacting to, often, is not what is really happening. Responding is intentional. It’s the moment you mentally tap the brakes and ask, “What is the truth in this situation?” It invites clarity. It gives your higher self a seat at the table. It’s where real growth and grounded action happen. Reacting, in contrast, is when the body hijacks the moment. Emotions surge. The nervous system overrides reason. You speak or act without pausing—and often regret it later. It’s draining, not just emotionally, but energetically. I’ve had to learn (and re-learn) this lesson personally. There was a moment in my life—one I won’t forget that was the turning point from me—someone VERY close to me said something that cut deep. It wasn’t just the words; it was what they triggered. Old wounds. Stories I thought I had healed. My body reacted instantly: tight chest, heat behind the eyes, a wave of emotion rushing in. Everything in me wanted to lash out. Defend. Shut down. Prove something. But something inside me whispered, “Wait.” So I stepped away. Breathed. Sat with the discomfort. And I asked myself the question that’s become an anchor: “What is the truth here?” The truth was: I was hurt. Not because of what was said—but because of what it touched in me. The truth was: reacting would only create more disconnection. The truth was: I had a choice. That moment changed me. In high-pressure moments, it’s tempting to let reaction win. But choosing to respond instead? That’s where true power lives. It’s not about being passive—it’s about being present. This is the work: creating space between the trigger and the choice. That space is everything. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor E. Frankl Reacting is easy. Responding is self- leadership. If you're done being pulled by urgency and ready to lead with clarity and intention, let’s talk. We’d be honored to hold space for you in a complimentary exploratory session. Join me next week for 3 practical tips on how to start responding instead of reacting. Small shifts. Big results. -Amy Magyar, PCC, ICF Mentor Coach  There’s something truly magical about International Coaching Week, and it’s not just in what we teach. It’s in what we receive.
Last week, I had the incredible honor of facilitating five global workshops with the powerhouse team at FromWithin Coaching. Coaches from across the world logged in, not just to learn about strategies and tools, but to connect , deeply and authentically, with their purpose, their peers, and their path forward. We explored everything from marketing yourself on LinkedIn, to using AI in your coaching business, to building sustainable resilience routines to prevent burnout. I even got to share one of my favorite tools: CliftonStrengths, and how it can completely transform the way we communicate, with clients, and with ourselves. But if I’m honest, this week wasn’t just about facilitating. It was about expanding. Expanding into my purpose. Expanding into my strengths. Expanding into the global coaching community that reminds me why I do this work. Throughout the week, I leaned hard into my own top 5 CliftonStrengths, not as buzzwords, but as a framework for how I show up. Arranger helped me juggle five completely different sessions, with different goals, audiences, and vibes, and somehow still create space for spontaneous magic. (Let it be known: I am forever loyal to my color-coded calendar.) Connectedness was my heartbeat all week. I felt the power of being in a regulated, ethical, and intentional coaching space. One where ICF-certified coaches could come together, not in competition, but in true collaboration, across borders, cultures, and time zones. That connection? That’s the real currency of this work. Individualization reminded me that no two coaches, or strategies, are the same. Every conversation, every question, every moment of insight was rooted in honoring each coach’s unique journey. I don’t do one-size-fits-all, and Coaching Week confirmed just how powerful that approach can be. Maximizer drove me to refine every detail, from how a slide landed, to how I followed up with attendees. I don’t just want things to work, I want them to shine. And Restorative came alive especially during the burnout prevention session I co-facilitated with the brilliant Coach Denise Kumlian. Because here’s the thing: burnout is real. Even in this purpose-driven profession we love so much. Coaches, consultants, solopreneurs, we’re often so focused on serving others that we forget to check in with ourselves. That session brought the human back into the hustle. I saw the weight lift from people’s shoulders when they realized they could build a business that doesn’t require self-sacrifice. That success and sustainability can go hand in hand. This was more than a professional milestone. It was a "thank u, next" moment. Because after this week, I am more grounded than ever in the truth that I don’t need to be everything to everyone. I just need to be fully me, grounded in my strengths, clear on my mission, and committed to creating space for other coaches to grow and thrive. When I operate from that place, the right opportunities find me. The right clients feel the pull. And marketing stops being something I have to hack, it becomes a conversation rooted in purpose. So yes, I’m done squeezing myself into outdated, bro-marketing blueprints that don’t fit. I’m building something better: strategies that feel good, do good, and actually work. Not just for me, but for every coach I get to support. Because business should be personal. And so should your strategy. Here’s to coaching with integrity. Marketing with heart. And showing up — fully and unapologetically, as the strongest version of yourself. Until next time… Megan Flanagan-FromWithin Coaching  Great question to ask yourself...how often do you say the words "Can't, Won't, Never, or Only?"
More often than you probably think...and we all do at times... Two weeks ago, a few of our Coaches gathered with FromWithin Coaching’s founder, Amy Magyar, to reflect on our journey—where we started, where we are today, and where we’re headed. Since our inception in 2006, we have the honor of working with hundreds of clients; all ages, stages, & wages. The one thing has remained constant: our commitment to supporting YOU. At FromWithin Coaching, we’ve grown from helping people one resume at a time to empowering individuals, teams, and organizations in countless ways. And we make sure that "Can't, Won't, Never, and Only" are just words in a dictionary and not ones that our Clients use when they are aiming at their personal and professional goals. Today, we cover many facets of coaching, ensuring that no matter where you are in your journey, we have the right support for you. Our Coaching Services
We fell in love with the transformative power of CliftonStrengths® and saw firsthand how strengths-based coaching can unlock potential and drive meaningful change. That’s why we champion this assessment and integrate it into much of our coaching work—because when you know your strengths, you can show up as your best self in life, career, and leadership. At FromWithin Coaching, we have many ways and many coaches ready to support you. Whether you’re looking for personalized coaching, professional growth, leadership development, or a supportive community, we invite you to: Explore our coaching services and events https://fromwithincoaching.com/eventcalendar.html Join our FromWithin Women’s Network https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromwithinwomensnetwork We’re here for you—drop us an email or give us a call today.  In a recent virtual event hosted by FromWithin Coaching, Leadership Coaches, Lu Setnicka and Augusta Good shared invaluable insights on navigating 'hard' communications within organizations. The event, attended by leaders of all levels of experience, from a global organization with diverse backgrounds, delved into the intricacies of addressing challenging topics with employees.
Key Takeaways: Cultivating Empathy: The coaches emphasized the importance of approaching hard conversations with empathy and courage. Understanding the perspectives and emotions of employees lays the foundation for constructive dialogue. Clear Communication Strategies: FromWithin Coaching advocates for clear and transparent communication. Setting expectations, providing context, and being explicit in conveying messages can mitigate misunderstandings. Psychological Safety: Lu Setnicka and Augusta Good highlighted the significance of ensuring that psychological safety is in place to ensure success during tough conversations. Creating a space where employees feel heard and safe contributes to building trust and fostering open communication. Constructive Feedback: The event explored techniques for delivering constructive feedback effectively. The coaches shared practical tips on framing feedback in a way that promotes growth rather than demoralization. Attendees of the large virtual event praised the practicality of the advice shared by Lu and Augusta. Many expressed newfound confidence in approaching difficult conversations, armed with the tools provided during the session. We are grateful for the organization opening up their event to us and we look forward to continuing the learning with them! As organizations evolve, effective communication remains a cornerstone of success, and FromWithin Coaching stands at the forefront, empowering leaders to communicate with empathy, clarity, and confidence. As the owner of FromWithin Coaching, I am in constant awe of the work that organizations are willing to do, and for my Coaches who help them navigate the change they seek! What are you ready for? -Amy Magyar, PCC  As an Executive/Leadership/Career Coach at FromWithin Coaching, I enjoy collaborating with my clients on a variety of topics. A recent exchange caused me to think about how to best support a client moving from a tactical, managerial role to a strategic, leadership role; what's the difference and what will she face?
In doing some research, I came across a 2001 HBR article written by renowned Harvard Business School professor John Kotter, "What Leaders Really Do (see link below)." Here's what jumped out for me: "Management is about coping with complexity." "Leadership, by contrast, is about coping with change." So true. For any of you who have been in either role, you are no doubt nodding your head in agreement. If you're struggling with being a manager or a leader, or moving from one to the other, consider setting up an Exploratory Session with me (30 minutes - Free!) and we'll have a chance to dive deeper: https://lnkd.in/gyhfvGGA To learn more from Dr. Kotter, here's a link to the article I reference above: https://lnkd.in/gGdJhC8v Remember, we're all leaders , even if we don't have that specific word in our job description - always show up as your best self! -Lu Setnicka Hello and happy 2024 Coaches (and soon to be Coaches)! I am sharing exciting upcoming regional and global events from the International Coaching Federation (ICF) for the coming months, along with an insightful class from a highly influential ICF Coach. Whether you're an experienced Coach, aspiring to be one, or a Leader, each carefully curated suggestion promises to empower you with valuable information and focus, regardless of your level of experience. Continuing Education (CE) credits are crucial for coaches and coach-like leaders to stay updated on the latest practices, maintain professional standards, enhance skills, and build confidence with clients or team members. It ensures ongoing growth, adaptability, and ethical conduct in coaching and leadership. Even if you are not a member of the ICF or need the credits, what is offered is powerful knowledge that will be worth every minute you are not spending in front of Netflix or Hulu! Happy learning, Amy Magyar, ICF Mentor Coach, PCC The Power of Metaphors - Level 1 8 Sessions - Starting February 1, 2024 This is a Level 1 Certification Program designed to support your Coach Development as you tune your ears to listen for metaphors in your coaching conversations. I personally took this class last fall and it has had a profound change on my coaching…which I have been doing for over 18 years. January 24, 2024 Coaching the Executive Brain: The Neuroscience of What Might be Needed Coaching Overwhelmed Executives In this lively, fun, stimulating, and interactive webinar, Neurotransformational Coach Ursula Pottinga will share what might be needed that’s different when coaching Executives including: 1) The need for Executives to “Extend their Minds” and the research from Annie Murphy Paul. 2) Two powerful ways to “offload” what becomes overwhelming for Executives and how to help them. 3) What Executives might resist in terms of coaching approaches and how to shift that. February 2, 2024 Demystifying your first ICF Accreditation (ACC & PCC) This session will help you know exactly what you need to start your first ICF Accreditation application, whether you’re going for ACC or PCC. This session is for members who are either already on their credential path journey or about to start but do not yet have any ICF Credential. Join Panos Malakoudis and Beth Hope for this CCEU qualifying session. Feb 13, 20243 Ways to Make it Easy for Clients to Invest with You Just by Pinpointing Your ROI Learn how to use ROI data to show your value, build your authority and grow your impact as a Coach. During this session, you will learn how to make it easy for decision-makers to invest with you. February 22, 2024 The Business Side of Coaching Practice Nonna Babitzin, MCC shares her story, one example of how to simplify the sales process and increase the number of clients and build a thriving coaching business without burning yourself out. You'll get food for thought and concrete tips to build a thriving coaching business. You will walk away from the session with: how to package your services and make purchase easy, how to support clients reflective practices between sessions, how to keep track of your clients progress, and how to manage your calendar. February 21, 2024 The Surprising Gift of Doubt: Tapping into our Greatness to Truly Empower Others Are you in a leadership position and completely surprised by the doubt you’re experiencing? The good news? That doubt is just the gift you need it become a great leader. The Surprising Gift of Doubt is a thought-provoking and inspiring session that explores the power of doubt to challenge our beliefs and push us to grow. Presented by bestselling author Marc A. Pitman, he shares lessons learned from twenty years of executive coaching. The book offers practical advice and personal anecdotes that show you how embracing doubt can lead to greater clarity and conviction in our lives. Whether you’re a leader, a learner, or simply someone looking to live a more fulfilling life, The Surprising Gift of Doubt is a must-attend. With its powerful message and engaging style, this presentation will leave you rethinking the role of doubt in your own life and inspiring you to embrace it as a valuable tool for personal and professional growth. May 28, 2024 The Artistry of Coaching with Elias Scultori, MCC Are you overwhelmed by the “rules” of coaching? Do you find yourself pressured to do it right versus doing it naturally? Has your inner critic become a third party in your coaching sessions? As coaches, we walk a fine line between technique and connection, structure and instinct. We believe that it is when we are able to weave methodology with the inner landscape of both coach and coachee that the transformational magic happens. This is the artistry of coaching – a place where we feel confident, centered, and competent. Our coaching becomes more effective, valued, and effortless. July 23, 2024 10 Expert Strategies That Will Make You a Better Coach During this dynamic and interactive session, Chariti Gent, MCC, Director of Coaching Education at the University of Wisconsin Madison, and celebrated teacher/trainer offers her “Top 10 Expert Strategies” for up leveling your coaching skills. Building off the ICF Core Competencies, Chariti shares with participants some hard-earned wisdom, tips, and tricks of the trade she’s found that have made her a “better” coach. We all know the basics of what it means to be a good coach. This class will make you better. September 24, 2024 Confidence on Camera: Creating Conversations Online as a Public Speaker The biggest myth is that coaches don’t have the right skills to become amazing public speakers. The truth is you have all the competencies you need as a coach to create powerful conversations online that lead to clients. In this interactive session, Jenn shares how to leverage your coaching competencies to create powerful presentations that you can deliver as a trusted expert in your coaching niche. Our in-house resume writer, C. Jane Taylor was a Strengths doubter. Now that she embraces her Strengths, she’s happier and more fulfilled. You can be, too!
Join her and Coach Mary McClements for a two-hour Strengths workshop tailored to Women Over 50, September 27 starting at 12pm EST. https://fromwithincoaching.com/womenover50cliftonstrengthsevent.html. A message to #collegestudents and especially rising seniors... Summer is a great time for work and internships, as well as just taking a break and having fun. It is also a perfect time to start being proactive and developing a plan for after graduation. Yes, I know the last thing you want to think about right now is graduating. I get it. BUT...if you want to rise above your peers, overcome uncertainty, and have OPTIONS after graduation, then now is the time to start preparing. I have included a list of some critical components you can start working on right now. Please message me for the full PDF with simple action steps for each component. I will post more information to support you over the next few months. In addition, FromWithin Coaching | Coaching for Career, Business, Life will be running a series of workshops designed for college students and new graduates this summer, so stay tuned! Need help getting started and staying on it? Click on the image below to book a complimentary call to learn more about the career-ready summer program I am running. -Tim Birmingham  |
AuthorThe authors of these blogs include incredible Coaches and Writers at FromWithin Coaching who are inspired to share their thoughts, ideas, comments, and possibilities with YOU, the reader. Archives
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